Friday, October 17, 2008

Auburn finds offensive coordinator, all-time quarterback

Auburn coach Tommy Tuberville thinks he has finally found an offensive coordinator that can put some points on the board for the Tigers. Landy Hulse was playing wide receiver this afternoon, when he took over and started calling the plays in the huddle. "Chris was drawing our next play in the dirt like he usually does, when I noticed Tray was watching over our shoulders. So I just drew my rout on the palm of my hand so Chris could see what I was running."

Apparently he did something right, because Tuberville was impressed. "He ran a basic post pattern, but the genius of it was how he used the mailbox to pick the defender," coach Tubbs said after practice.

A few minutes later Landy was asked to play all-time quarterback while Chris finished running the vacuum and loading the dishwasher. On his first snap he connected with Ben as he ran past Jerraud, who had a sand spur in his toe. "I saw (Jerraud) had a sticker in his foot, so I told Ben to do one of these."

Coach Tuberville wasn't the only one who was impressed by Landy. Rodgeriqus had nothing but praise for him today, "I like when Landy is Quarterback because he doesn't sweat so much. Chris makes the ball so slimy when he touches it. Plus, his mom always comes out here and gives him jobs to do."

Tuberville said Landy still has room to improve his decision making. "He needs to work the check down a little more. Sometimes he forgets that hitting the lawn chair is an automatic first down. I'd also like to see him call shotgun whenever the defense looks like they're going to rush." Coach said he's anxious to see how well Landy can perform in a hostile environment like Alabama. "With crowd noise like that, you aren't always going to hear them counting to five Mississippi."

When asked how long he thinks Landy will remain all-time quarterback, coach Tubberville said, "The best thing he's got going for him right now is that he's a team player. He's both teams' player."

Injury Update:
Brad, who sprained his ankle while running a down-and-out in the sugar sand, is still not back to full speed. Robert, who has been wearing a band-aid all week, is cleared to play Saturday. Robert had skinned his knee on the driveway during Monday's practice.


Dave said...

What kind of name is Landy?

Dave said...

"Coach Tubbs" LOL!!

Sean said...

I saw some of Landy's efforts at practice and I noticed he was good about not calling sharp out-patterns or quick curls on the fuego dr turf. He would of had even more success if not for his receivers occasionally getting caught up in low-hanging tree-brush on the south sideline, as well as being dumbfounded by some sloppy parking that nearly cut the end-zone in half. He told Tubberville that when the captains are choosing end-zones at the coin toss in stadiums with sharp topography, he would prefer going uphill because it better replicates his practice experience. He would also prefer Auburn to choose to defend the endzone with the giant dog holes instead of the stumps because foot injuries are easier to recover from than knee injuries, for his receivers. One drawback to his performance, however, is that he seems to inexplicably get tired from just throwing short routes. When he is then put at receiver, he proceeds to run mostly "drag" routes. They aren't delayed short crossing routes like other drag routes, instead they are basically a style of play where you try to lull the defender by dragging them down into your sluggish pass pattern and allowing them to keep a hand on you while getting a breather before you possibly explode into a fly or quick out pattern, which usually never comes. It can turn the fastest, most aggressive defense, into a bored and perplexed state of despondency.

Dave said...

In an effort to cut down on injuries, Tuberville handed out life jackets to some of the smaller players today.

Michael Arnold said...

Dr. Lou noted Hulse's success will be correlated to the number of "Mississippis" the other team's defense has to say before rushing.