Thursday, October 30, 2008

Philosophers call for end to madness, demand their own playoff system to determine whose social order should prevail

Philosophers today called for an end to the madness. After centuries without a playoff system to determine whose universal view should be named the No. 1 universal view in the universe, the few remaining philosophers in the world have asked the BCS to design a computer ranking system so the business of working toward a universal view that can be universally accepted throughout the universe can begin.
The BCS immediately assigned Jeff Sagarin to began working on a plan.
Sagarin said the first order of business would be to determine who would be included in the pre-ranking system.
"There is some who think Zizek has no universal view of his own," Sagarin said. "He uses his notoriety to establish himself as a good guy against society's evils."
An unnamed Bowl Coalition representative said everyone would get a fair chance to be in the playoffs whether they wanted to be or simply refused to acknowledge the accepted thought on being.
"That means you Martin Heidegger," he said.
CBS officials have already rejected the BCS request to televise the playoffs saying they felt PBS would be better suited for the contest.
"Unwatchable," said CBS executive Andrew Heyward referring to the playoffs. "We're not interested in the least bit."
The BCS did get one bit of good news: Bob Costas said he would be interested in announcing the playoffs.

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