Sunday, October 19, 2008

Foley: 'We've got our man!'

Michael W. Arnold
Sunshine Sports
Florida Athletic Director Jeremy Foley giddily announced Sunday afternoon he had completed an exhaustive search to replace football coach Urban Meyer, who resigned several hours earlier in the day to take the Clemson job.
In a twist of irony that could only occur on the pages of "Ode to the Gators," Foley hired former Clemson head coach Tommy Bowden to replace Meyer.
"What makes this deal so great is it is a two-for-one acquisition," Foley said. "We get Bobby in the deal, too."

Bobby Bowden, coach of Florida's greatest rival Florida State, announced he would be hired as a recruiting and corn pone consultant for the Gators.
The elder Bowden finally realized he would not be able to keep up with Penn State coach Joe Paterno in his quest to be the winningest coach of all time. "Paterno is a android," Bowden said. "He belongs in a Steven Speilberg movie, not on the sidelines in college football. Someone ought to do some DMA or CNA sampling, or whatever it is they do on them CIS shows."

Bobby Bowden's primary responsibility would be to provide spin for son Tommy Bowden as his losses pile up at Florida. Foley said "BB has done a terrific job at FSU keeping the Alumni off his ass while the Seminoles sink further and further into obscurity. We need that same commitment to bullshit here at Florida."
Ironically, Tommy Bowden was only able to get one statement in during the press conference as his dad spouted one archaic colloquialism after another. He guaranteed he could beat Spurrier.
"That's good enough for me," Foley said.

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