Sunday, October 19, 2008

Paterno: 'I'm not an android'

Michael W. Arnold
Sunshine Sports
In a story that has more legs than a centipede orgy, Penn State football coach Joe Paterno angrily denied claims he was an android and offered to have his DNA tested before athletic director Timothy M. Curley whisked him away from reporters outside the Beaver Stadium's recharging station in Pennsylvania.
Curley said everyone knows Joe and there is no need for a DNA test. "Sure JoePa is 138 years old, but there are a lot of active centenarians out there. I don't know why Bobby Bowden would say that about Joe. Maybe he is a little jealous of the success Joe has had this year."

Later reporters tried to interview several Penn State athletic department employees dressed in white lab coats as they exited the charging station driving a hearse with tinted windows.
TV camera crews are currently analyzing tapes of the brief interview to determine if those are really eyes behind the Mister Magoo glasses Paterno wears.

No comments: